


It's okay to close your eyes and rest

by ColdHeartedBitch



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America bashing (not overly tho), Civil War Team Iron Man, Depressed Tony Stark, F/M, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Multi, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America Friendly, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Slow Burn, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, he's not even a real captain jfc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-08-20 17:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20231773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdHeartedBitch/pseuds/ColdHeartedBitch
Summary: He’s alone and tired. Hurting all over. Tony just simply wants it to be over.Breathing shallowly and looking at the shield thrown away by Captain America, Stark disables the suit and shuts off FRIDAY.It’s okay. He can rest now. No more worrying, no more overthinking and deep insecurities. Tony can close his eyes, ignore the pain and tears, and go to sleep.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm salty and in need of more #TeamIronMan fics, so I decided to write my own. Not sure if it'll be good, but I do hope so. It will be mainly focused on Tony getting better, Rogues getting what they deserve. And Tony x Bucky. Because I love the ship.
> 
> Also, if youre a big fan of Steve Rogers, good for you. But if you want to hate on how biased my writing is and how much you hate Tony, please fuck off and don't comment how shitty you think Iron Man is. You and Rogers can suck my dick, bye.

Tony Stark.

Billionaire engineer, genius, playboy, philanthropist. Son of a legend. 

In the eyes of everyone he has everything. He’s happy, because he’s got everything he wants, whenever he wants. Right?

No. 

In reality, Tony Stark has nothing but money that can’t truly buy him the happiness he craves so much.

It’s always been like that. His whole life. Tony hoped he finally found something good when he had Obie, Pepper, Happy and Rhodey. when the Avengers were formed. But of course he had to go and fuck it up. 

Obie and Afghan. Ten Rings. New York. Mandarin. The Ultron. The Civil War. 

Every bad situation, arguments and fights; all of it on him. He knows. Fuck, does he knows, how big of a fuck up he is. Tony tried, though. Tried to be good for his parents first, when he was just a small baby, not even four years old. Then for Rhodey, Pepper, Happy. He loved them, still loves, and doesn’t want them to leave him, so he tried and tries, continuously. 

But he’s never good enough. No matter how much he tries, there is always someone to tell him how much he still has to prove before people even think about appreciating him.

Tony Stark is tired of trying. It’s too much for him. 

Laying on the cold floor in Siberian Hydra base, Tony Stark decides to give up. Stop trying. There’s no point. 

He has nothing and no one to fight for any longer. Vision, gone. Pepper, gone, hidden somewhere with Happy, enjoying their new relationship. Rhodey. His platypus, paralyzed and in hospital. Vision, enamoured with Wanda, is gone too. The whole team and more, lead by Rogers. Gone.

He’s alone and tired. Hurting all over. Tony just simply wants it to be over.

Breathing shallowly and looking at the shield thrown away by Captain America, Stark disables the suit and shuts off FRIDAY. 

It’s okay. He can rest now. No more worrying, no more overthinking and deep insecurities. Tony can close his eyes, ignore the pain and tears, and go to sleep. 

And that’s… that’s exactly what he does.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am apologizing for any typos or mistakes in advance. English is not my first language, but I'm trying. Still, I hope you guys will like what I wrote.

Waking up is not fun. His body is numb, mouth and throat dry, eyelashes clamped together. He can barely move. It takes more time than he would like for him to open his eyes for longer than few seconds. When he finally achieves it, though, he takes a long, slow look around the room he’s in. 

Hospital. Luxurious room with only one bed and comfortable looking chairs to the side. There’s also a big sofa in front of the bed, a flat TV attached to the wall with abstract paintings surrounding it. 

Tony hates the place. If he could, he would be up and out of here already. But his body’s not cooperating. It’s too numb to even twitch. 

At least like that he can’t feel the physical pain.

He closes his eyes, hoping to fall asleep again, but his mind has other plans. Instead of shutting down, he recalls everything that’s happened in his last conscious moments. 

It’s awful. One big fucking disaster. 

Watching his parents getting murdered by the man standing so close to him was one of the worst experiences of his life. Maybe even worse than an open surgery in a cave without any kind of painkillers. And then, Steve admitting to knowing. Trying to make excuses. Them fighting. 

In the first couple of seconds Tony wanted to kill Barnes. Of course he did. But then he realized that Barnes was controlled then, was just a fucked up HYDRA’s soldier. So at least he wanted to beat the shit out of James. Unfortunately, the situation slipped out of control and they were fighting for real. He destroyed Bucky’s arm. Rogers went mad and in retaliation attacked the glowing arc reactor in his suit.

Then the pain. So much pain. 

Giving up. But apparently it didn’t work out.

He hoped, he truly did, to close his eyes and never wake up. 

Tony’s just a fuck up that can’t even kill himself properly.

With a deep sigh Tony tries again to move his body. His left arm twitches after few seconds. He concentrates on that, completely ignoring the fact he’s alone and lonely. Doesn’t even think about what it means.

Some time passes. Tony’s capable of moving his arms and toes, but he also starts feeling the pain that currently owns his body.

When he’s finally able to push himself up from the lying position, Tony’s sweaty and feeling sick. He needs to continue, though. He has to get up and get the hell out of this hospital room. There’s too much stuff to do. Like making sure people hurt by Rogers and his crew get the help they need. Those who died get a proper funeral and their family money to cover the costs and more. He also has to make sure the kid, Peter, is okay and find a way to make Rhodey walk again. 

There’s so much to do. Tony can’t just sit around doing nothing.

When he’s up on the bed, legs planted firmly on the floor, but his ass still on the mattress, Tony starts gently ripping off the needles and tubes attached to him. He notices the tick bandages around his whole torso and most of both arms. His hands are okay, though. They’re fine and that’s all what Tony needs right now. 

Ignoring the dull pain Tony stark finally stands up and makes the first step.

Immediately, he falls face first onto his front. 

He passes out from the sudden bursts of sharp pain all over.

Waking up is a bitch. He’s numb again, can’t move. Tony wants to scream, frustrated and angry, but the only sound that comes out of his throat is a pathetic moan. 

“Mi- Mister Stark? Oh god, are- are you awake, oh god, I should get a doctor, please don’t die, I’ll be back in a second, oh my god!”

Tony knows that voice and that nervous rambling. 

“Underoos,” he slurs out and opens his eyes, blinking rapidly.

The door to the room is left open after Peter probably ran out. Tony looks around and notices big backpack on the couch in front of his hospital room. There’s also a blanket, blue hoodie, couple of books and styrofoam cups. He’s confused, wondering what the hell the kid is doing here. He should be at home, resting. Doing the common teenage stuff like playing games or jerking off or something. Tony’s not really sure what a normal teenager does these day.

Before he can overthink about Peter and his presence here with him, the kid comes back with a team of people trailing behind him. Doctors and nurses.

Peter rushes over to his side and grabs his right hand. Tony looks at him confused, but doesn’t tell him to let go. 

“Mister Stark? Mister Stark, can you hear me?” asks one of the doctors. Tall skinny guy with silver hair and big round glasses. “I’m doctor Davis, Mister Stark. Can you understand me?”

“Yea,” Tony croaks out. “Thirsty.”

“Yes, of course,” the doctor says and motions for one of the nurses. 

The woman places a straw against his lips and patiently waits for him to grab it and start drink the chilly water. In that moment that water tastes like the best thing ever. Like a drink of gods. 

“Slowly,” the nurse reminds him when he almost chokes. “Small, slow sips, there’s no hurry, Mister Stark.”

Tony complies and slows down. After what feels an eternity, he’s finished drinking and gives the nurse small smile. Or, at least, he hopes he smiled. Tony’s not sure, not with the way he’s still so numb.

After that the doctors check him all over. They make him follow the light, their fingers, count numbers, says who’s the president, all that routine stuff. Slowly, but surely, he aces them all. Doctor Davis looks very pleased when it’s all over. He sends the rest of them staff out of the room and waits until it’s only him, Tony and Peter.

Peter’s still holding his hand. Tony still doesn’t say anything about that.

“Mister Stark-” Davis starts, but is interrupted by Tony.

“Just Tony,” he says with a weak sigh.

Doctor Davis smiles slightly and nods politely.

“Okay. Tony, we should talk about your injuries and your recovery. Is that okay with you? Or do you want to rest a little bit more before we have this conversation?”

“Lay it all on me, doc. The sooner the better.”

Davis glances at Peter, who stands quietly at Tony’s side, nervously drumming his fingers on Tony’s hand. 

“He can stay if he wants to,” Tony declares before Davis can ask about that. 

“I will stay,” Peter says immediately, then flushes, probably embarrassed with his eagerness. Tony think it’s cute. But Tony’s also pumped full with painkillers, so he can’t really think straight at the moment.

“Okay, then. Tony. Your injuries are… I’m not going to sugarcoat this. It’s bad. We almost lost you. You flatlined twice on the operating table, almost bled to death. You made it through, but it doesn’t mean you’re not in danger of dying, Tony.”

He’s aware it’s bad, he really is. 

“You were in a coma for almost two weeks. You woke up three days ago, but then something happened and we found you on the floor. Since then you’ve been slowly regaining your consciousness. Today you did it fully. Congratulation.”

Tony didn’t feel like celebrating, though. He wanted to be over with this conversation.

“Just… tell me about the injuries, doc,” he says hoarsely.

“Crushed sternum and several ribs. Punctured lung, liver, intestine. We had to put an artificial sternum inside you. With, with the reactor, too, Mister Stark.”

For a moment Tony can’t breathe, but then something switches inside him. He realizes that now that he knows about it, he can _feel_ the familiar weight of it inside his chest. 

It’s somehow comforting.

“Why?” he asks and Peter squeezes his hand harder than before.

“Because of pieces of your suit that penetrated your skin, fat, muscle, when the front of your suit was destroyed. We couldn’t risk trying to find all of them with you in a state like that, so we decided to put the reactor back. It’s working great, there was no complication,” doctor Davis explains quickly and Tony nods.

“Okay. Other injuries?”

“Cracked skull, broken nose. Bruising all over your body. The bruising though is already disappearing.”

Even if it's only the bruises, it's something at least. 

"When can I go home?" That's the important question. Tony really doesn't want to stay in the hospital. He wants to go to his tower, his workshop. There, he can heal peacefully while working and keeping his mind occupied. 

"Mister Stark-" Peter starts, but Tony shakes his head. 

"Shush, kid, adults are talking."

Peter looks like he's hurt, but trying very hard to hide it. Tony immediately feels bad. Another thing to add to his list of hi fuck ups. 

He forces himself to ignore the shame blossoming inside his chest and looks at the doctor. 

"So, doc? When can I leave?" 

"You have to stay in the hospital at least one more week," the man says with a sigh. "Then you can leave. But it doesn't mean you can do whatever you want then, Mister Stark. Bed rest for you for the next two months."

Tony snorts. Yeah, no. There's no way he's going to stay in bed for two months. 

"I'm serious," Davis insists. "You have to let your body heal. That means bed rest, healthy diet and rehabilitation."

"I can't. There's too much work to do," Tony mutters and closes his eyes. His mind is already working on things he has to do. No, he won't be able to stay in bed that long. 

"Yes, you can. Mister Stark, you're going to die if you won't follow doctor's orders. And no, I'm not exaggerating."

"I can't," Tony repeats harshly. "I can't just do nothing and rest. I can't."

"You will have to, Mister Stark. It's not up for discussion," the doctor says sternly, glaring at Tony. "One more week here and then at least two months of bed rest. That's it. Now, I'm going to send a nurse in a moment to change your dressings. I will come back later to talk with you a little bit more. Please think about what I just told you, Mister Stark. I really hope you'll understand in how awful state you are right now."

And with that, doctor Davis left. For a long moment there's silence in his hospital room before Tony snorts. 

"Charming guy."

"Mister Stark," Peter groans.

"I know, I know. He's just doing his job."

"Exactly! And he's _good_ at his job. So you should listen to him! You have to. Otherwise you will get even more hurt or worse, Mister Stark."

Tony sighs and rolls his eyes. 

"Right," he grumbles, the stubborn asshole he is. Then he looks at Peter with slightly raised eyebrows. "What are you doing here, by the way? Shouldn't you be in school or home with your aunt?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think


End file.
